the girl next door

since i may never get the chance to tell you this to your face, i might as well get it out in a space you will likely never visit though you have the means to...

go away for 10 months and then try to make your life easier by avoiding me so i start to dislike you. that's a really great way to get your feelings out, right? apparently you forgot while miles away that i was your friend and you don't keep things from your fucking friends to get them mad at you. if you wanted to end "things" MAN UP AND DO IT. don't string people's emotions along. it's COWARDLY and UNFAIR. i know you're in town because someone told me. i didn't expect any of your time. i know you're busy with the wedding. but if i was coming into town after being away for 8 months i would at least tell people i was. and as fucking gay as top friends on myspace is, it's nice to know americorps people and a band have knocked me out of your "friends". i thought we were good friends... perhaps i'm wrong.

can't wait til you come home... i have a lot to say to you. i've had A LOT on my mind for months now, it's a pity we don't have open communication... if you come home and don't try to contact me, i think it's best our friendship is over. you obviously don't know how to treat me, and i've given nearly all i can.

my feelings for you will remain on hold til november...

i've signed up to go back to school. i will be graduating next spring to be a medical assistant so long as i get on the list for winter term. i was accepted for financial aid because i'm broke, so thankfully i'll be able to pay my parents back so my mom doesn't have something else to hold over my head.

ryan basically told me he has no wanting to stay in michigan if possible because the job field here sucks ass. basically he's been putting me off so i'll get mad at him to make his job easier to tell me all that. that really hurts my feelings. he should know better... we're friends.

so bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.. thats the recent life of rachel.

god my work is such a high school i swear. rumours spread like wildfire... people gossip a lot... all that fun shit. i've avoided it up until now because i work shifts that have vew few people and hardly any of the younger girls. the other night i went to canada with two people i work with, len and jennifer. jennifer and i met len and his friends there because he had offered me to meet up because he knew i had wanted to party in canada, but i didn't wanna go alone. so now he's telling me he heard i have a crush on him and wants to know if it's true. like any sneaky weasel of a girl, i say i will divuldge information only after hearing who told him... his sister... who heard it from someone else. ok.. A: never said that to anyone. B: people obviously twist information in their heads and tell other people what they believe to be true. C: i think a good amount of people know my current situation and how i am not wanting to date anyone new because i happen to be waiting to see where things are going with a certain someone who is not in town. and D: omg the kid is 19 >.< nice kid and all that but c'mon.. i'm 24. so now i'm trying to explain it all without coming off like an asshole. cause how do you explain this shit. man.. sux.

so i did the most idiotic thing EVER and accidentally overdrew my bank account. i thought i had wrote a check for 450$, but it was really 540$.. so i got charged for it. i felt SO embarassed by it that i haven't been to the bank yet to fix it. stupid, i know. so i check my account online just now and i've been charged twice more. so instead of 30$ in fees, i now owe 90$. if only the bank knew how broke i was... but it doesn't matter cause it was/is my fault.. *sigh*

Tell us two truths and a lie about yourself.

• i nearly get naseous watching someone drink a glass of milk...
• i would nearly pack up and leave for a job on the disney channel...
  
• i won both the history and spelling bee in my elementary school...
  

What's a saying or phrase that's never made sense to you?

"mind your P's and Q's"

i've been told recently it had to do with back in the day when beer came in Pints and Quarts and bartenders would say that to people or something... who knows haha.

If you could eat anything you wanted, and not have to worry about gaining weight/being unhealthy/inhumane, what would you totally pig out on? 
Submitted by Jay.

probably boxes and boxes of cheez-its. seriously. i can honestly probably finish a box in a day, maybe two. for the most part i eat what i want, when i want, but i would just eat more of it if i didn't have to worry ;D

In your ultimate dream house, what does your favorite room look like?

i'll describe my dream bedroom! my dream bedroom is spacious with either cushy carpeting or nice wood flooring. it would have a biig 4-post bed [i've never had a bug bed] with nice bedding and many coordinating pillows. it would most DEFINITELY have a bay window with a window seat where i could read a book with my cat on my lap and having a little fireplace would also be nice because i would have a rug by it and it'd be all sexy-like lol! basically my dream room is extra plush and i will likely never afford it, but a girl can dream ;)

continuing on with my random posts about 5 things that made me happy in a day i bring todays list.

1. one of the hosts at work today called off. now normally this would angerfy me, but i am all for a lazy person not coming to work instead of coming and causing me to get mad when they walk away to go socialize...
2. some random person called my work today and played the WHOLE 'peter cottontail' song into the phone.. i passed it around and it was just a hoot. yay easterrrrr!!
3. hanging out for chris's birthday! having a license allows me to come hang out with the crew and i love that! it was good to see schlotz, andy, katie and chris!
4. winnin a round of 'pea pool'. lucky pool ball #4 won a game for both andy and i.. wise people chose #4 that round.
5. sharing my red robin with fluffy [my cat] and also talking about ryan with schlotz and andy. i miss that kid.
   

there's a community on LiveJournal called 5gratitudes and it's a place where people post 5 things  that made them happy. i prefer vox to LJ now-a-days so i think i will just do it here for my own amusement :) hopefully i'll make my lazy ass post 5 things ever so often..

5 things that made me happy:

1. i didnt get disconnected from the game i play online overnight. as a result, i was able to keep my stall open.
2. the weather isn't too bad today! t-shirt and light jacket weather for me.
3. lazying around all day before work.
4. being able to drive myself to the bank... hooray license and car!
5. the pizza that i am about to devour.. man i'm hungry! :D